Friday, October 18, 2013

Notes from Parenthood

Not my kid. Not enough snot and limb flailing, for one thing.

A few weeks ago, for reasons known only to herself, my daughter decided to throw an afternoon-long tantrum. As she screamed, I cycled through annoyance, concern, anger, empathy, back to concern, then finally shellshocked admiration at her stamina and commitment to cause.

Around hour two, her cries suddenly changed pitch and frequency. Seeing an opening, I hollered "RE-MIX!" and, as she stared in confusion, I began singing:

It's the remix to ignition,
hot and fresh out the kitchen.
I can't sing you the rest,
'cause it's not safe for children.

She frowned. She giggled. She wasn't yelling!

Then she took a deep breath and started all over again.

Friday, September 6, 2013

Sample Sale: Back to School Edition

Well, my lovely daughter and I survived another summer together without any significant injuries or mental breakdowns. She and I are both thrilled by the return to her full-time preschool schedule, though. In celebration, have some end of summer/beginning of fall sale gems:

Lennox Slash Shoe (Free People, $99.95 from $170) Love the buckles, sort of suspicious of the window-blind cuts on the front, but they might look great with a cool pair of socks.

Polonova Vines Trouser Socks (Sock Dreams, $18 from $20) Hey look, cool socks!

Open Constellation Earrings (ModCloth, $8.99 from $12.99) I love that the design is all neutral colors. These could complete any fall outfit.

Caycee Twist Top (Kiyonna, $48 from $58) Oh, half-sleeves. These next three weeks are your time to shine! (In New England, at least. I can't speak for warmer climates.)

Elgin Jacket (Boden, $70.40 from $88) Sorry, I just really needed to get some bright color in here.

Urban Ammo Eye Palette (Sephora, $12 from $36) Confession: Urban Decay's naming system has always given me secondhand embarrassment, since it is so patently a middle-aged marketer's version of "edgy." Mildew? Really? This is great deal for 10 shadows, though.

Dwell Studio Sticky Notes (See Jane Work, $6.50 from $10) Leave thinly-veiled threats for your coworkers in style!

Knit Tricot Container (Sprout Home, $30) Oh my god, it's a sweater vase. I'm in love. Put some decorative gourds around that sucker and you've got Fall On A Table

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Sample Sale: Dad Stuff

Man, this was even harder than the Mother's Day one. I actually don't even have anything for my own dad yet. I usually get him food. I usually get the father of my child food too. Dads love food. Do any of you have other Father's Day gift suggestions? Leave them in the comments (please!).

Carriage Leather Dart Messenger (Jack Spade, $175 from $425) The man bag! My husband has a cheap-ass messenger bag because he refuses to splurge on himself. Maybe you (and your siblings?) can splurge for your dad.

I Do All My Own Stunts shirt (ThinkGeek, $16.99 from $19.99) Could be ironic, could be true, could be that your dad is a fan of Mythbusters.

Men's Contrast Stitch Leather Belt (Land's End, $39.99 from $54) Included solely because the last three times I've asked my dad what he wanted for his birthday or Father's Day, he's said a belt. (My mother: "He doesn't need a belt.")

Laughing Buddha (MET Museum store, $62.50 from $125) My husband collects buddha statues. Maybe you're lucky and your dad has a collection of some sort!

Chef Tim Love Steak Buttons (Sur La Table, $14.99 from $24.95) I was trying to avoid the "dads grill stuff and play golf" cliches, but the proximity of the words "love" "steak" and "button" made me laugh too hard to skip this one. Sorry, I'm 12.

Fish Planter (Willard & May, $50 from $120) Obligatory gardening gift! Double points if your dad is a fisherman too.

South Seas Tea Chest (Ten Thousand Villages, $19 from $38) AKA "an excellent dad-stuff & geegaw holder."

Gluten-Free Cupcake Mixes (Williams-Sonoma, $9.99 from $16.95) For all the Celiac and gluten-intolerant dads out there. (We were at a birthday party last weekend, and when it was time for cake, I brought Baby Razor her "special cupcake" [which she LOVES] and the dad sitting next to me said, "Ah, the gluten-free cupcake. I know it well.")

Friday, May 31, 2013

Sample Sale: Superhero Style

I joke that superhero comics are my midlife crisis. I turned 35 and all of a sudden I was consumed with the urge to surround myself with TPBs and have opinions on the characterization of heroes only, like, five people have ever heard of. I blame Kelly Sue DeConnick for being an awesome writer and a redhead (I can't resist a redehad, y'all). 

But I still love fashion and frippery, so here are my interests combined:

Solid Supernova Pendant (Free People, $39.95 from $58) Carol Danvers, Captain Marvel, has the best costume in comics right now. I'm not even going to add "in my opinion." I am stating this as fact. Get a little bit of her badass-ness with this necklace. (Also: Lord,  has she come a long way from that first outfit, which I look at and immediately think "vagina wedgie.") (Also also: read her book. She is the best.)

Viento Arrow Cuff (Free people, $69.95 from $100) Hawkeye is the comic I would recommend to non-comics readers (aka: me, until about a year ago!) The writing and art are fantastic, and you don't need to know 50 years of canon to enjoy it. From a fashion perspective, arrows are in; I see them in jewelry a lot.

Pleated Silk Dress in Pansy (Madewell, $99.99 from $150) Kate Bishop is a large part of what Makes Hawkeye so awesome. She is smart, sassy, and up for anything but standing still and looking pretty. Kate's outfit considerations: 1) Is it purple? 2) Can I kick ass in it?

Spring Trench (BodenUSA, $138.60 from $198) The closest I could find to Jessica Drew's fierce coat in Hawkeye #9 (Jess, aka Spiderwoman, really needs a costume redesign. My boobs hurt for hers whenever I see her superhero-ing outfit.)

Two-Tone Reading Glasses (Anthropologie, $19.95 from $38) To hide your secret superhero identity, duh.

V Neck Dress (Shopbop, $529 from $880) Serving up Emma Frost realness. (Ed. Note: Finding a SFW Emma image? Very, very difficult.) But she's my favorite even with the cheesecake costume, and this is why:
Me too, Emma. Me too.

Alchemia Bullet Bracelet (Shopbop, $117 from $195) In the comics, Black Widow has bracelets that fire something called the "widow's bite." IDK what that is. I don't think it's important. What is important is: What the fuck is going on with her legs in this picture? Uh, anyway, this bracelet is made of bullets. 

Just the Way You Star Skirt (ModCloth, $61.99 from $87.99) You will never convince me that this isn't Wonder Woman's go-to date-and-or-BBQ skirt.

Red Haute American Summer Dress (ModCloth, $90.99 from $129.99) If you want to date Captain America.

In and Nights Out Dress (ModCloth, $39.99 from $79.99) If you want to seduce Captain America.

Glittered Stretch Belt (Anthropologie, $19.95 from $38) I could not for the life of me think of a specific superhero to attach this to, but it looks like it should be part of someone's costume, doesn't it? (ETA: Thor. It's Thor-esque. Thanks, Kelly Sue!)

Friday, May 24, 2013

Sample Sale: Purple

Theme this week courtesy of Baby Razor's signature color.

But first, a little bit of self-promotion: I wrote about motherhood & my life for the Having It All Project at Busy Since Birth.
And if you like The Avengers and/or fanfic, I wrote a little story that won a contest (yes, really).

Amethyst Diamond Drop Necklace (Wendy Mink Jewelry, $50 from $148) So delicate and lovely. You can't go wrong with a piece of jewelry this classic.

Large Frame Clutch (Rachel Roy, $49 from $69) Sophisticated AND useful for whacking your dinner party companion under the table when s/he starts rambling. Or am I the only one who has to do that?

Cece Sude Ballet Flats (J Crew, $79.99 from $128) Wow, do these ever look comfy.

Sweet Escape Curvy Plus Skirt (Ruche, $22.50 from $32.99) I love how simple & modern this is. So much plus-size stuff is covered in frippery. I love me some frippery, but I do not need to be covered in birds and flowers from head to toe.

Florilegium Dress (eShakti, $71.95 from $89.95) Speaking of frippery! I love the psychedelic garden party vibe of this dress.

Urban Garden Party Dress (ModCloth, $52.99) And I love the color-blocking and simplicity of this one too. I'm not really picky about pretty dresses.

Mitra Tablecloth (Fig, $87.75 from $135) Purple housewares: surprisingly difficult to find. This tablecloth looks like it hides stains well, which is really my only requirement for a tablecloth.

Sephora Collection mono eyeshadow in violet shimmer (Sephora, $5 from $12) The brighter the purple, the bluer your eyes look. It's true.

Bramble & Apple Sample Size Sorbetto Sugar Scrub (Paintbox Soapworks, $4) Not on sale, but I have a few of these, and they're a great value. All of the scents in this shop are fantastic.

Friday, May 17, 2013

Sample Sale: Geek Chic

I very clearly recall being 11 years old, sitting in my hometown library with a friend, and trying to shush him as we talked about Star Trek: The Next Generation, because holy shit, what if someone found out I was a Trekkie? That would've been, well, not social suicide, because everyone already knew I was a huge nerd, but something awful, obviously.

It turns out one of the best things about getting old is the complete failure of one's Give A Fuck. Nowadays I'm like, HEY, READ MY FANFICTION or LOOK, I WENT TO A CONVENTION. Wear your niche interests proudly, my friends, because everyone's a nerd about something.

Marie Curie Babydoll (Think Geek, $18.99 from $20.99) As a kid, I read everything I could get my hands on about Marie Curie. She had an amazing life in addition to being a brilliant scientist. So when someone tells you "Cute shirt!" you can respond, "Thanks! Marie Curie was a badass."

Thor Hammer Cuff Bracelet (Think Geek, $18.49 from $36.99) I like this because it's subtle and stands on its own as a pretty piece of jewelry independent of its geekspiration.

Converse All Star Cheetara athletic shoe (Journeys, $29.99 from $59.99) Guys, DO NOT go back and try to rewatch Thundercats. You'll be so disappointed. Cheetara still looks awesome, though, so rock these shoes.

Star Wars Vehicles Cookie Cutters (Williams-Sonoma, $9.99 from $19.95) My 6-year-old nephew is super into a bunch of Star Wars stuff that I know nothing about (the Lego sets alone!), and he loves to tell me all about random characters and their adventures. But my favorite moment came last summer when he said, "Aunt Lyette, did you know Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker's father?" Um, yeah kid. I was aware of that.

Red (Threadless, $12.95 from $19.50 [t-shirt] @29.95 from $49.50 [hoodie]) All the women's t-shirts are sold out, but you can get a 2X men's shirt and wear it as a sleep-shirt, maybe? That's what I would do if I didn't think it's scare the snot out of Baby Razor if I walked into her room in the middle of the night wearing it.

Comic Gia (Kate Spade, $39 from $78) Less comics and more pop art, but still geek chic. Bright, cute, and useful.

Comic Relief Dress (ModCloth, $48.99 from $97.99) It's the BOINK! over the bosom that makes it, really.

He-Man DIY Paper Figure (Urban Outfitters, $1.99 from $6) There's a Skelator too! Keep them on your desk at work and make them fight.

Smaug's Cash 4 Gold (Busted Tees, $15 from $20) I'm just saying, there are two more Hobbit movies coming out and you're gonna need something to wear to opening night.

Doctor Who TARDIS Talking Cookie Jar (Think Geek, $26.99 from $29.99) Linked for my friend Leigh, who already has the TARDIS coffee pot. (How many TARDIS products do you think there are? Could someone do an all-TARDIS kitchen?)

Friday, May 10, 2013

Happy Mother's Day

No Sample Sale this week! Instead, let me present you with "All About My Mom," as answered by Baby Razor, Age 3 and 3/4.

My mom is 5 years old.

My mom weighs I don't know because she is short.

My mom's favorite color is purple.

My mom's favorite food is egg salad.

My mom always says "I love you too."

Mom cooks the best macaroni.

My mom's job is to write and serve me food.

My mom laughs when I say gookey-ga.

If my mom had time, she would love to take a nap.

My mom & I like to play outside.

My mom really loves boats.

I LOVE my mom because she always gives me great hugs.

And here I was thinking she was the great hugger!

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Sample Sale: Hey, Mama

Alternate titles:
Mama Said Knock You Out
Mama, OoooOOOOooooo (from Bohemian Rhapsody, obviously)

I had trouble with this one, because mothers are vast and contain multitudes. My mother likes decorating. I like comic books. Your mom might like hot rods. Or rock climbing. But if you're stumped for what to get her, hopefully this list will jumpstart your creativity.

Calla Lily Drinkware Set (Uncommon Goods, $49.99 from $100) Probably more decorative than functional, but it'll give your mom the idea of sharing lemonade and chatting with you, which is nice and probably something that mothers and children do somewhere, right?

Sunrise Stoneware Bowl (Terrain, $39.95 from $78) The key to giving home gifts is to know your mother's decorating concept. If your mother doesn't have a decorating concept, I don't know what to tell you. (My mother's house looks like a Better Homes & Gardens show-home for French Country.)

Jane Jeweled Frame (Z Gallerie, $14.99 from $24.95) Frames are nice if you have something cool to put in them. Don't put a picture of yourself, seriously, your mother has enough of those. 

Snow Gardenia Soap (Cisthene, $8 from $14) A big bar of soap is one of my go-to "I have run out of gift ideas" gifts. Get one with fancy packaging so if your giftee doesn't love the scent, he or she can use it as bathroom decoration. Liquid soaps in fancy glass bottles also work. (Bonus soap!)

Mughal Arabesques Umbrella (Metropolitan Museum of Art Store, $20 from $40) Unless your mom lives in Southern California, she needs an umbrella. And she probably buys all of hers from the drug store, because who the heck splurges on umbrellas? Splurge for her.

Grey Moonstone Filigree Earrings (Wendy Mink Jewelry, $40, sample sale) Jewelry is another gift where you have to know what your mother likes. My mom, for example, doesn't like long, dangly earrings. And I don't wear gold. But these are super pretty and maybe your mom would like them? (Bonus for moms with August birthdays: the green stones are peridot, the August birthstone.)

Leaf Headband (BCBG Max Azria, $12.60 from $18) I like this headband. I am a mom. Maybe my husband will actually read the sale post this week, who knows. (Baby Razor is off the hook because she can't read yet.)

Double R Ranch Co. Flank Steak (Williams Sonoma, $45.99 from $65) Only get this if your mom truly enjoys cooking. Otherwise she might be like, "That's great, now I have to do something with this." Or! Buy it and make dinner for her! Ooh, that'll get you major Favorite Kid points.

Prep Bowls (set of 5) (Sur La Table, $10.36 from $12.95) No matter what I'm cooking, I always need more bowls. And these have measurements on the sides, too. Not a particularly glamorous gift, but certainly a useful one.

Cosmos Blue Blossom Watering Can Gift Kit (Willard & May, $25.82 from $32.60) The Razor Family's Go To Mother's Day Gifts, 1983-present: coffee mugs and/or flower stuff. Giftees who love gardening are easy to shop for, because there is always something else that can be added to a garden.